Spatial Recognition
by Francorum Edictis
Summary: Two days ago, Scott Summers ran into his old high school teacher. Today, he is a changed man.
1. Chapter 1: Spatial Recognition

**Spatial Recognition**

_Two days ago, Scott Summers ran into his old high school teacher. Today he is a changed man._

* * *

It was the summer of 2002. So sweet was the heat of the weather. It was a lovely afternoon inside the professor's mansion.

"Yo yo yo, you're pretty hot yo. Where'd you come from? Jamaica?" said a large thick voice from behind the manly figure of Scott Summers. "Come dance wit me."

Scott Summrs turned around on his spot and witness Kurt as Kurt scarf down his Big Mac n frise. Kurt also pulled out some warm Takoyaki balls from his pocket and ate them too. Scott show disgust on his face and turned saying: "what are you doing here? I thought I told you I do not talk to people who live in MY HOUSE."

Two seconds later, Jeans appeared in Scott's front and is like, "O my god, scott i heard yeu. Why are you being so mean? I thought you two were ferns?"

Jean was angry and so left in a huffs, shouldering Scott in one side but she trips from Scotts foot.

"Wohohoho man," Nitecrawler yelled and pointed wildly at Scoot and then at Jeans, "zat was so uncool. How could you make her fall down on to the floor?" Kurt was so horrify, his head was shaking!

Scotch crossed his arms with a sexy sunglasses smirk. "You dont know me, Curt. Everybody doesn't know me." And the young man turn his back on the furry blue Curt and started to walk away down the hallway towards the area of the kitchen. "You must leave me alone now for i am really having a _really_ bad day, i mean COME ON, where can some dude get a shampoo around here?! somebody has stolen mine! It was $22 dollas!"

Kurt Wagner was looking surprised at his friends revelations "vat shampoo?" he ask as he helped JIN GRAY up from the hard ground. "i have lots of shampoo! For my fuzzy! you vant mine?"

But scoot was already gone far away.

Jean look at Knightcrawling in sympathy and they both shrugged in awkward unity. "Vat is his problem?" they both wondered out loud. "Such a moody guy".

Meanwhile… Wolverine Logan is writing his paperback novel at the breakfast table. It was long impressive novel with lots of caps lock and quotations of people screaming about moto cycles and racing. "Hell yea this book man," the adult man thinked to himself as he wrote his next sentence: _and then Cycops and his dumbass RED car with NO ROOF AT ALL crashed with a MEGA humongous BOOOOOM into the ROCKS UNDER THE F*CKIING BRIDGE! SHIT MAN IT WAS SUCH A FANTASTIC._

Scot Xummers stormed into the dining room & he begins to yell at Longan in a large voice full of immense hatred. "My shampoo, have YOU seen it WOLFEREEN? Kurt said you might have take it from my bathroom. You betta give it back, you disk."

Loogen stood up immediately, his face going a black purple from being suddenly hotheaded. "Excuse _me_, goggle eyed, you have absolute ZERO rights to accuse such things at me. I'm so glad your SHIT garbager car crashes in my BOOK." The angered male lifted his novel in the air and waved it around angrily - its title is **THE GREAT MOTOR RAVE**. "Many people are gunna read this, SCOT."

"OKAY BUT DID YOU STEAL THE SAMPOO VOLDREEN?!"

"NO, YOU PUNK."

"NO!?"

"NO, NOW GET YOUR NONSENSICAL ASS OUTTA MY ROOM BEFO' I START CUTTING."

Scott ran out of the room and BAM straight into Shortcat. Good thing she transported through the man quickly and was unharmed but Cyclosp spin around confusedly for a second.

"Oh hey Kitty, have you seen what happen to my hair soap?" he asked her the question tiredly.

"Totally like no! Like whaaaaat? Who even uses shamWow nowadays?"

"I SAID SHAMPOO."

Kitty growled. "no need to use that tone with me, Cyclones. You can be such a disk sometimes you know?"

Scott rolled his eyes and crackle his knuckles "please answer my query, Swallocar."

"ok ok jeez don't get annoyed. I didn't see your shampoo. What kind was the brand?

Soct took awhile to reply. He was embarrassing himself! "… L'oreal. Ultra shiny SLEEK Everlasting." He whisper greatly.

"Oh\ It's probably with Rohge, she uses so much of that stuff," Kitty said smartly. "You better ask for it back or it'll be gone soon."

Without saying thank you or goodbye, Scott RAN to Rogues room quickly, his rapid footsteps making awesome noises as he stepped down the mansion's hallways.

HE BURST INTO THE X-WOMANS ROOM TO FIND…

"HOLY CRAP SCOOT, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOIN' IN MAH ROOM?" RoUge screamed. She was watching a My Little Pony on TV. WITH LOGAN!

"OH MY GOOORD… LOLVERINE WATCHES THIS?!"

Logan snarl defensively and threw something heavy in the scots direction "GET OUT THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD"!

**THE GREAT MOTOR RAVE **hit cyclop in the head. "ow! OW!" but scott did not want to get out immediately.

"ROGUE WHERE IS MY SHAMPOO!"

"YOUR SHAMPOO IS RIGHT HERE, SCOTTISH SUMMER," a large voice said from behind scott, and everyone gasped collectively becos…

… it was PROFESSOR X!

~*BAMF!*~

"NO WAY, ZE PROF USED IT?" Kurt was flamboyant. "VAT ZE HECK."

"And here is your conditioning too," PROF Xavier handed Scort the bottles of shampoo and condition. "I apologise. My… _hair_… was getting unmanageable."

Everybody looked HORRIFY.

**Next chapter! -**


	2. Chapter 2: The Birth Of A New Era

**CHAPTER 2: THE BIRTH OF A NEW ERA**

* * *

This morning, it was Scott Summers birthday. Everybody was holding a good n' very friendly party with everybody for the teenage mutant. Scots turning 18 today, so it was a really big deal for the young man. "Hey man, I am pretty much an adult now!" was scot's first words of the day toward his best friend, KURT BOSS WAGNER, and also to JAEN GRAY, who since the other day will not talk to scoot any longer since that day, but scott thinks its ok because she has somewhat of annoying vocals anyway…?

The xmen evolution mutants were gathered in the dining room – all were present and counted for: SCOTT 'Cyclops' SWUMMER, KART 'Night Crawler' WAGNER, KITTY 'Showcorn' PRYDE, JEAN GRAY, HANK 'Bist' Mackoy, LOOGAn 'Wolverine', Prox X, ROUGE, and even Evan 'Spiky' Danielle and Orororor. Also other young mutants like Bobby Drake and Iceman were there.

"We have invited all the extremely COOL kids to come, kiddo summers," Porfesser X said, loud and thick. "Come and see." The man rolled out the door, into the garden outside, where…

"SURPRISE CYCLOPS!" screamed some newcomers, who stood under a big yellow and red banner saying "BIRTHDAY GURL!" There was a big long table out on the lawns with lots of tasty food on it: anchovy pickles and lots of bread with icing (kurt really likes it!), and some blobby thing with small sticks popping out of it that look like a chocolate birth cake with green icing.

IT WAS … *dun dun dun* the brotherhood!

"OH MAH GUD, WHO INVITED THIS DUNCES?" Roge yelled, very angrily, her hands displayed threateningly on her hip's bone. "Professor, please don't tell me these gays are here for mah biorthday!"

"It's _my_ birthday," Scott mutters under his breath, "but ok, whatever."

"Get these idiots out of my properly!" Rogue yells and Wolverine also, at the precise same time.

"I beg you, Rogen and Logue, please calm down" Progressive X said, breathing shortly out, "they just are here to celebrate the birthday of our beloved scoot summer. They do not here to cause some trouble."

"Ya. Right," Evan Danielle said, crossed his arms. "They will probly make such a freaking mess and trash the place."

"We SOOOO aren't the type to do that," TODD TOFLAKSY said with a giggle, and he eagerly hopped towards the food table, but accidentally crashed head first into the cake, sending vanilla EVERYWHERE!

The people gasped. "TOAD, YOU GOON," Wander the Scarlet Wich screamed, "I MADE THE CAKE AND YOU TOTALLY _DESTROYED_ IT."

Todd whimpered, face covered in green icing. Pietro clucked his tongue in despair, "See? We should never have listened to the old man to arrive here. I didn't even want to come to Scoot Summer and now look, everyones getting so mad at us."

"Just at Toad," Kitty assured Pietray. "You other guys are ok."

Wanda had stormed off somewhere. Scoot Summer was thinking of doing the same because THE BROTHERHOOD WAS HERE AND THEY ARE RUINING HIS SPECIAL DAY.

"You guys suck," Scoot hissed sourly, then glared at the professor. "Why on earth did you invite these disks?"

"EXCUSE ME," LANCE 'ALVERSLANCE' ALVERS said angrily, "YOU are the disk."

"Dude, he just turned 18 man, cut him some slack," Bobby Drake whispered loudly at Lance. "And Scott, just CHILL down okay? It's not like Magnet is here, it's just the Brother Hood!"

"Can we just open all the presents now?" Rouge whined.

Scott glared at Booby and Rouge angrily. "I WILL NOT CHILL OUT BOB. AND ROGUE, IT IS NOT EVEN YOUR BIRTHDEY, so STO[P."

Rogue walked away without another word.

"Good going, birthday freak, you just made her cry. DON'T YOU KNOW SHE LOVES YOU?" Kitty shrieked at Soctt. "She has ALWAYS had!" (everybody was shocked)

"Whao, ok, everyone's gotta calm the tits down," Loverine said gruffly. "This is just a birthday party—"

"THAT I DIDN'T ASK FOR."

"Shut the hell up, SUMMERS," Loagen grizzled. "DO NOT INTURRUPT ME." His claws came rising up like a tornado. "_How dare you?!_ I am so frecking glad you DIE in my eBook."

"You wrote an ebook?" Blob looked impressed. "Watcha call it?"

"**DEMONIC MOTORBIKE GANG, PART II**, duh."

"Shweeeet," Lance whistled gaily. "So Cyclop actually dies in it?"

"TWICE," came the dark reply from Logan as he glared at the sunglasses'd man standing nearby. "He kicks the bucket TWO times," he held up two fingers like a V shape.

Scott frowned. "Well okay, fine. But I'm gonna open my presents now."

"Make sure you give some to Rogue, man," Kurt said, "she seemed pretty upset. You gotta cherry her up with some nice gift."

Jean jumped in, "No way, if anyone's getting any of Scrot's presents, it will be me! Because I love him"

"Wait, but you told me you never wanted to speak to me ever again!" Scott cried out, pointing a finger in accusation at his former girlfriend. "After I tripped you the other day and Nitecrickey had to pick you up."

Everybody gasped! "Yo, what the hell, scott, you must never treat a lady this way!" Evans said then, spikes rising from his body like a hurrcane! "That's not cool!"

"My loving nephew is right, Scott SUMMER," Orrroor said, disapprovingly. "You are a terrible example of the HUMAN BEING!"

Wolveen looked extremely hotheaded "SO UNACCEPTABLE, BALONEY!" the adult exploded. "I will have to ressurent you in my book so I can kill you a gain!"

"This party is so shit," Pietray yawned. "I think we should leave. C'mon guys." He waved at his friends.

"What about Wanda?" Toad asks, looking up from the messed up cake he was busily eating in his corner. "She walked into the mansion. Why?"

(Meanwhile, Magnet's daughter is actually in the DANGER ROOM fighting bad metal lasers).

Back to the present:

"Okay, PRESENTS." Scott yelled. And he ripped into the first gift he could location. It was a small item wrapped in paper mashay.

"From me," KIRTY PYDE said smartly. "Do you like?"

Scoot looked at what he had uncovered. "A razorblade?"

"Ya, for your stumble! Please just use it?" she begged.

"Okay." He put the item aside and unwarpped Kurts present. It is a shiny policeman hat. "… What the?"

"It vould look sexy!" Curt said happily.

"Ooookkkkaaaaay."

"You dunt like it?" the furry boy asked in sad, "must I return it?"

"No!" Scott hurry up put the hat on, " it is very snazzy!" he give his friend a quick thumbs up and cheesy smile to boot.

"You look like dumbass," Alverlance said, and Blob nods. Kitty giggled, Logan laughed thickly. Bobby sneezed.

But Cypress was not listening, already unwrap a new present. "This one's from the Professor," he said, reading the card, "_To dear Scott Summers, please use this wisely. Love, Xavvy_". It was two bottles of costly shampoo.

"Aww gee, thanks prof!" But the professor was nowhere to be found.

The next present was a purple lampshade from Oreo Munroe and a pair of lemon color socks from spyke.

Also a nice sundial from Beast and a cute donald duck wallet from Body Drake and a book on cats from Sunsport and a book on bonsais from cannonball and a friendship bracelet from Iceman. And a SUBWAY COOKIE from Rouge. And a signed copy of **THE GREAT MOTOR RAVE** from Loganrine.

Jaen got _nothing_ for Cyclosp. So bitchy!

He also got a cake from Wander (still in the Danger Broom), and a ladybug in a little glass cage from Tood, and a picture of a man in tight speedos from Lancer, a pirated copy of F.R.I.E.N.D. Season 41 from Blobs, and a jar of earwax from Quacksilver.

"Mistyk also wanted you to have this," Todd gave Scott a sachet of itchy powder.

"And Magnet gave you this," Puerto presented CYCOP with a copy of **THE GREAT MOTOR RAVE** (unsigned by author).

"Thank you, guys, all the people here," Scott says, tears welling up in his eyes. "I thought this would be shit day, but its actually not turning so bad."

ALL OF A SUDDEN, ROGE AND WANDER CAME RUNNING OUT OF THE MANSION. THEY HAD MEGA SOMBREROS ON AND WERE CARRYING A NEW BIRTHDAY CAKE TOWARDS THE CROWD!

"Haaaaaaappy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happppyyy birth DEAR SCOPE SWIMMER!"

Everyone chimed in at the end: "HERPES BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOO!"

"HIP HOP, HOORAY!" KURTTY YELLED.

But then, Wendy and Roge tripped and the cake fell splat on the floor!

"OH MAH GUD."

**~The end~**

To be continued?


	3. Chapter 3: There Is No God

**CHAPTER 3: THERE IS NO GOD**

* * *

So then there was a big ass spaceship that was in the process of landing on Xavier's beach front property that existed on the edge of a mindblowingly steep cliff. It appeared without warning whatsoever but everybody saw that it was decked out in flashing pink lights and a blue fabric that extended out of its nozzle like a Superman cape billowing in the wind.

"Yo yo, vat the shizzle? Vat dis space machine doin' here?" Kurt rapped in his original teenager voice, as he looked at the large item descending from the heavens from his bedroom window. His roommate, Scurt Summary ignored him, instead gaped up at the huge big massive beautiful humming transport ship that came to land on the front lawn with a "DOOOOSH".

"It's in the shape of a carrot!" came some yelling from outside Kurt's and Stock's room. "GIANT CARROT IN THE OUTSIDE FRONT GARDEN!"

It sounded like Bobby Dreks's voice.

"We gotta cheek that thing ouuuuut!" Kurt was adamant, fingers twitching and flapping manically like fish out of water. "Maybe zey gots da aliens on board! And tasty things!"

He bamfed out of the room, leaving Scott to his own devices.

~KURT TELEPROTS INTO THE OUTSIDE GARDEN!~

"Whoooooa." his expression was awed with wonder. "Bigger up close!" he declared, smashing one closed fist against his palm. "COOL BRO."

Rogue came running out of the house, followed by Jeans (who had recently dye her hair a deep purple like indigo or violet or something similar). And then Wolver also followed close behind, face turned up into the air and sniffing like a dog.

"That thing smeerls DANGEROUS," Woolen growled with the low voice he was born with. "Stay away from that dangerous thing!" he threatened Kurt, who was currently running towards the big ship without any regard for his personal safety because this was Kurt and Kurt was a little dumb.

"No don't vorry, Logan, zat shiny vegetable shaped outerspace thing looks safe and VERY freako nifty!"

As soon as Nightcrawford said that, the nozzle on the spaceship started spewing hot smoke in every singular directions, including upwards and downwards.

"HOLY SHEEE-" Rogue is yelling. Hands flail and making extremely rude gestures.

The spaceship then started making huge banging noises and then 'HSSSSSSSSHHHHH', the front metallic doors hissed open exactly like a sci-fi movie. An ominous ramp extended out of the ship's stomach.

"STAY BACK!" Jean yelled at her friends and JEAN IS MAKING HER HAIR FLY AROUND ALL HER HEAD LIKE A MAD PSYCHIC.

BZZT.

Some weird creatures came rolling out of the thing. "BZZZZZZT." BZZT. BZZZZZTTTT!

"HO MY GOOOOD," Rogue screamed, "WAAAAAT THE FRICKIN HOLL?!"

The creatures looked like angry state-of-the-art rollerblades with antennae and soap bubbles for eyes. They were zapping everything in sight with mega strong electricity.

"YO WHAT?" Kurt was shocked. And then he got shocked real bad because he was right in front of the spaceship and the creatures were zapping the nearest thing that spoke. "YOU ARE HURTING ME."

Cyclop came busting out the front door of the mansion all like "you guys, we all gotta fight that thing!" like a team leader and he keeps saying really pumped up things to his soldiers.

"RIGHTO," Roach nodded with determination and reached out to touch one of the rollerblades. The rollerblade keeled over and died.

"ATTA GURL, ROOG!" Kurt cheered excitedly, then teleported into the bathroom upstairs because he needed to use the potty.


	4. Chapter 4: Sometimes You Gotta Live

**Chapter 4: Sometimes You Gotta Live**

* * *

While the dudes in the front lawn were battling the rollerblades from the alienspace, Kitty Pryde and Orororo and Rogue were currently chillin' at their local mall, drinking slurpies. They were actually at the pet store and were in the process of buying a new cat for Kitty. Auroro had promised to buy one for her so long as she didn't give is a stupid name like "Shwartz" or "Poke" or "Spyke". Kitty said she would name it "Diggity" and Storm was agreeable.

"How bout that one?" Rogue slurped at her purple drink and pointed at a half-rugged siamese fighting fish, flashing its tail randomly in an aggresive manner almost like it was trying to catch the attention of the goldfish in the other tank.

"That's a fish. We're here for a meow!" Kitty stormed her foot in the most antagonising fashion. "Pay attention!"

"But the fish totally wants to come home with us!"

"Shoosh your mouth!" Kitty snapped, then turned to ororo. "I WANT THAT ONE." She was indicating a little baby cat with one blue eye and one brown eye and it had so much bushy tail and fur - white fur because white cats are kinda zen lookin'. It was licking its claws.

Storm nodded her graceful head and waved at the storekeeper to package and check out the feline that Kitty had picked.

"BUT I WANT THE GODDDAMN FISH."

Meanwhile, everyone at home was joining the battle at the lawn of the mansion against the outrageously zappy rolling shoes.

"DUDE, move your ass!" Wollverin holarred at Rogue very loudly because she was wasting time looking for her lost hat in one of the nearby bushes instead of halping the xmen.

"WELL NO," Roug snapped back almost wild, "I need ta find me hat, Waldo!"

Logans growl and then whipped arbout to find that Kryt had come back from the toilert. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, SHUMP?" he demanded futilely.

"I needed to ensure my bowels were operational," Lert defensive himself with a dark face on his impatient face.

Logan took this as an asseptable answer and noddled his head "ook, just get back and fight the bad guys right now or none of you get any lunch!"

And then Scott was there and he ACCIDENATLLY BLAST WOLENVERN INTO A TREE! "HOLY DOOLEY I AM SO SORRY," CRYCOPS WAS HORRIFIED (but not really because he keeps dying in wolvers books after all and that makes him mad).

Logan groan. "That was not funny, Cyclap!" he picked himself off the treee and dusted his head with his clawhand. "Hurt like ass."

Scott shrugged nonchalantly. He know Logan cannot die - he has healing powers to regenerate himself like when THE DOCTOR.

AND THEN THE PROFESSOR X ROLLED OUT OF THE MANSION AND GREETED EVERYONE AND PRESSED A BUTTUN on his wheelchair & then, subsequent to that dramatic action-hero-style entrance and battan mashing, the spaceship promptly exploded in everyone's face! and the evil rellingblade aliens disappeared in to thin air!

"How. How how HOW did you do that, professing?" Jean ask, flabargested. "That was amazing. Are you a psychick?"

"No, jean," Xavier said gravely, head shaking in utmost sombre remorse and painful regret. "... *YOU* are the PsyChick."


	5. Chapter 5: The Mysterious Book

**Chapter 5: The Mysterious Book**

* * *

Scott "Cyclops" Summer was today reading a **book** in his room. He was feeling particular moody today, so his hair was dyed **black** & his shirt was also a deep soulless **black** and he was donning some very tight **black** skinny jeans with angry rips in them. His shirt presented the words _"DEAD INSIDE"_ very prominently in a neon green color. He was having one of _those_ days.

As the sunglasses'd teenage boy flipped a page in his book and got to a good part where the robotic alien girl gives a flower to a human dressed as a bald giraffe, Kurt "Bamfcrawler" Wagner teleprompts into the bedroom just then and noticed his best mate reading his **book** (cleverly titled _"Go Die In A Cave With A Beautiful Celebrity"_) with vigor. Kurt was indescribably _concerned_ for his friend's well being. "Yo dude, whadup playa? Been jerkin' dat PS2?"

SKootte looked up and frowned menacingly, said annoyedly: "Leave me _alone_ blue fuzz. I be readin'."

"Have you been hangin' out vith my sister again?" Kurt grumbled, taking in Scotty's attire with some twitchy eye squints. "And VHY did you make your hair like zat?! EET IZ 'ORRIBLE!"

"Holy Jesus Crapping Christ get the **FLIP** outta my room, BROH," Scott yelled, "before I blow a huge WHOLE in your face!"

"WOH TOUCHY!" Klurt yelled back and TelePrompTer out of the room immediately to go sob into someone's shoulder.

Three minutes of silence later, Kitty Pride came bursting into the room, demanding in the face of Cyclic. "SXOTT, THAT WAS INCREDIBLY FUCKING MEAN WHAT YOU SAID TO KURT." And then she took a good look at Scott and was shocked. "Your an **_emo_**."

"YOOOOLOOOOO!" Scott threw his book at her.

Lucky she _ducked_ (!) but the book rebounded against a wall and hit Scott on the balls.

"FFFFFFFFIUUUCCKA!"


	6. Chapter 6: Physical Education

**Chapter 6: Physical Education**

* * *

Kurt Warger was sitting hunched in his smiley face bean bag chair positioned carefully in front of the TV in his room because he was furiously jamming his large fingers at buttons - he was playing his favourite game Sonic the Hedgehod 2, which he finally completed in the summertime.

The weather today was staning and everyone was outside to be enjoin the cool breezes and the swell from the salt air from the ocean that was similar to smoked salmon aroma. But not the mythical Kurtcrawler because he was indoors being somewhat of an anti-social douche.

Skirt Stammers had asked his friend to come play the ultamate frisbae with him but Kurt declines comically and thrashes his hand in the air not taking his eyes off the flatten screen of his plasma TV.

"Alright man," Scut had said with disappoint in his vocals, fingers clutching at the orange frisbee in his pale hands. "You missin out. All us are out playin altimate Freesby, bro."

Kurt slam his fist against the hardwood floor in irritation "do I look like I care? Get out can't you see imma try to beat robotonic eagerly?"

"Robo Tonic is not that _hard_ to beat," Scit retorted before leaving and slamming the door as he leave in a huff. "Diskhead."

Outside, the x-man are having a ball of a time playing... tennis. When Scott Summers finally returned to join them, he noticed they were NOT playing Ultramate Friggee like he initially thought.

"Guys guys, guys guys guys, guys. Just what is happenis here..? Aren't we supposed to be throwing frisbae and not hitting yellow ball?" he asked confusedly and a little angerly.

"Nah, bubs. We decided TENNIS was the manlier sport," Wolverine said as he gracefully pirrouetted on the spot and returned the wonderful serve from Shadowbat.

Scott frowned and turn his back on his friends. "Ok. You win THIS time, Loaden, but _next time._ We are playing FRISBEA."

**to be continued...**


End file.
